Patience-Alertness
• Removing Patterns, Choosing Relationship And Finding Purpose
First Awareness
Wiring and Patterns
Becoming aware of the sequence of patterns that happen in our lives. Good news & bad news, sickness & health, loneliness & companionship, fulfillment & disappointment, all come in patterns which are repeated over and over again. These patterns are established in childhood dramas, hardwired into the neural networks of our body through habitual, compulsive living, and used as primary modes to survive daily life.
Two splits took place early on:
1) Our animal nature was split off and devalued leaving us afraid of the unknown within and without (There is something out there trying to do harm to me, or there is something in me that is damaged and unfixable).
2) Our behavior became the prime way others described and controlled us. Our soul or essential self, became a child imprisoned behind a wall of should's and should-nots.
Second Awareness
Finding the Key
Becoming aware that there has to be more to life than "trying" to feel OK, successful, happy, loved, nurtured and whole. "When do I get there!" is the cry of our wounded inner soul-child. Using up our energy to control life, to steal energy from others for that quick hit of "I'm OK." We project and hold our shadowy fears on others, bringing our habitual patterns to the breaking point where we begin to seek relief.
Here we need to begin to see that our whole life is a pattern that has been set up to prepare each person to find and fulfill a life purpose. Our unique family, neighborhood, school system and society set the stage. The good and the bad blended together to hardwire us and set us on a life track that we felt was "Who I am!"
However, with three decades behind us and the advent of mid-life, we sensed an emptiness within that should have gone away by now through hard work and being normal. An emptiness that contains our failures, fears and disappointments. However it is this same emptiness that can also contain a hidden energy, an energy that can propels us to a new way of living.
However, this is just the beginning. The first third of life is a set-up. Now we have our required key for entry into the second phase of intergation.. A key that can only be earned by existing for three decades. There are no other requirements-none, nada, nit, zero. Being good, going to school, being elected, getting a license, working hard, being a helpful spouse, educating your children, getting promoted were choices along the path. They only helped form the container that holds our consciousness. Just existing in a body gives you entrance to the next phase of life - direction and purpose.
Third Awareness
Tapping a New Source
During our early years we were wired to react to life situations in our families "normal" way. In essence we became our behavior. We were referred to by our "human-doings" rather than as a human being. This used up most of our creative energy and caused us to communicate and live within a narrow bandwidth of possibilities and confidence.
Early childhood development left our energy containers with a limited capacity. They can be distorted, persuaded, assaulted, filled or sucked dry by others in authority positions . As children we had no choice. As adults we are still operating from this position of "I am my behavior," not a person on equal standing with others. Bosses, dominate siblings or parents, spouses, police, government officials, spiritual teachers, news people, doctors, lawyers, dentists, postal workers, inspectors, financial and tax professionals, the rich and famous - sports figures, actors, musicians, and others all squeeze our containers. Our capacity contains a "position of preferences" based on what feels "normal," not on what fulfills us over the long haul.
Thus we come to our mid-life years feeling like we have missed something, that we should have achieved more and we should be further along in fulfilling our plans. This position is no different than whwn we were in grammar school. We often felt that the other children understood what was being taught and we did not. The result of this conditioning was a feeling of lack, a consciousness that there is not enough to go around, a scarcity of resounces.
From the position of our adult, logical minds, the way we now behave to "get ours" seems many distantly removed from the illsuive original cause in childhood.
If we experiment in our daily life with this, we become aware that all communications, all relationships, are about control or flow of energy.
The challenge here is to begin to feel the difference when we communicate with others without projection, verses when we project what we want others to believe or become for us to feel OK.
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